MY FRIEND NEEDS URGENT HELP

A friend of mine is experiencing the following dilemma. I am a novice as far as motherhood is concern (both of us belong to the same motherhood category), so I decided to use my blog to help her cry out for help. She is urgently in need of advice and is getting desperate.

My friend is a mother of two little boys. One is seven months plus, while the elder one is 2 years plus. For privacy sake, I will call the first one Tom while I call the little one Jerry (I don’t mean to be mischievous, but that’s what I can think of for now). The little Jerry currently crawls on this kneels and hand, he holds settee and tables and chairs to stand up.

The challenge is with the elder boy, Tom, he grabs Jerry each time he sees him standing with the aid of the sofa, tables and chairs. Initially their mother thought it was because he has not seen his brother standing before and that he was fascinated by the act and does not want the brother to fall down. But that seems not to be the case because recently Tom does not allow Jerry to stand with the aid of anything; He will run to where Jerry is standing and drag him down, making the baby to fall to the ground.

The one that bothers their mother most is that Tom will not allow Jerry to hold any toy whatsoever, he will pull it from his hands, and make Jerry cry, that is bad enough, but you are yet to hear the worst. Of recent, Tom has formed the habit of jumping on Jerry from the sofa and chairs in the house irrespective of the posture Jerry may be in, whether he is standing, sitting, lying down or squatting!

In a day Jerry is made to fall several times because of the Tom. Their mother is at a loss of what to do since Tom cannot communicate well yet. Their mother can only engage him in baby talk, and that seems to be sufficient in communicating to him the danger he poses to his sibling. Someone with experience should kindly share from experience how this kind of issue can be handle.

I am currently searching forums for possible answers to this dilemma because my friend is really getting worried and no one around her seems to have had a similar experience.

The world of children

If I had read in a book that a seven month old baby can initiate and play hid and seek with his two year old sibling, I would have taken the information with a pinch of salt, but here it is, happening right in front of me, live.

This is what happened:

Ruddy crawls to Noble who was sitting comfortably on the floor, puts both hands on Noble’s head and uses it as a support to get into a standing position, He (Ruddy) draws his face close to Noble’s own, obviously intending to taste it (at this point in Ruddy’s life, every thing he comes in contact with MUST be tasted) Noble seeing that Ruddy’s face was near his own, suspected a kiss or bite and moves to dodge it. WHY?

When I had Ruddy and brought him home from the hospital, Noble was surprised to see someone else, nursing at me, and getting most of my attention, so each time am holding Ruddy whether to feed or comfort him, Noble will come, strike out at the few days old Ruddy to the point that the baby will yell out loud, and the portion of his body that was hit, especially his face and chest will grow red from the force of the beating , Noble will drag the shawl trying to pull Ruddy from my lap to the floor, and when in my frustration, I yell out at him, he will start crying and the whole place will rumble, even at that, he will not stop pulling at his brother and crying until someone takes him away .

So I thought of a way to put an end to the raging jealousy and came up with “Kiss the Baby policy, I started by watchfully putting Noble near the baby, then I peck the baby on the forehead and make a kissing sound and say “I kiss baby, good baby” I made sure Noble sees me and his Daddy doing that, we did that for like two weeks! Before Noble was convinced that Ruddy was no rival.

That was when the kissing spree started. Noble started “kissing baby” until I got mad, whenever Ruddy utters a sound of discomfort, Noble will “kiss baby”, Ruddy is sleeping, Noble will “kiss baby”, Ruddy wants to be kissed, Noble will kiss baby, Ruddy is tired of the game, NOBLE WILL “KISS BABY”. Noble took the game out side the home, and started kissing little babies in his Sunday school class, especially if they cry, the teachers noticed it and went “hoo what a caring and loving little boy,” But I knew I was in trouble, I DID NOT WANT NOBLE KISSING OTHER BABIES, because not every mother wants her baby kissed. So I was faced with a new challenge, how do I get NOBLE to stop the kissing game?

That challenge was met and permanently solved one Sunday morning in Church

The children’s department is different from the Adult department, so when mothers come to church with their toddlers, they leave them in the children’s department and go to the Adult church. Victor, a toddler slightly older than Noble with a few months came to church with his mommy and doesn’t always like being left at the children’s church, so he started with his whimpering, Noble sees victor crying, he rushes to hug him and proceeded to “kiss baby”, Victor seeing Noble bringing his face near to his own, got irritated, held on to Noble’s head and gave him a bite of his life on the forehead.

Needless to say that there was uproar as Noble yelled disturbing the peace of the whole Sunday school session, with teachers scolding Victor and placating Noble.

After that incident Noble did not, I mean, he stopped on his own, the “kiss baby” game. You may think am exaggerating, but am not, that is the gospel truth. Noble stopped kissing babies in church from that Sunday. Occasionally he kisses mommy and daddy, but not any child.

Now back to our hid and seek story,

Noble seeing that Ruddy’s face was near his, suspected a kiss or bite and moves to dodge it, but was not fast enough because Ruddy was bent on tasting his face, and with it came the wet drooping that Noble dislikes, while struggling, they both slide to the floor, Noble humming in disgust and Ruddy laughing. He looks at Ruddy and smiles, Ruddy answers with a shrill of a shout and craws away from Noble very fast going behind the upholstery, some how Noble understand and the game of hid and seek starts.

It is wonderful to see that two little human beings can understand each other so well. I wish our adult world is a bit like that.

Mother's Kind Heart

Just remembering that smile of my toddler, Noble, when he gets his favorite vitamin c drink, saw me on my way to Oil Mill market, where the commodity is N50 lesser than the N180 I buy in a nearby store at home.

I also took out time to buy potatoes to be mashed for Ruddy; he is almost seven month old without spotting one tooth!! He just keeps drooping, very much unlike Noble who at four months had two teeth with which he nibbles at me when nursing.

In the middle of it all, suddenly the rains cascaded unannounced, calling everyone to attention, well, it caught up with me. I was soaked, and I still had to get back to the office because I’ve not closed for the day.

That only reminded me of the kind and loving heart of a mother, only she can endure so much for her little ones,

God bless all mothers!!!

BABIES NO SEND

Last night was one of the many nights that Ruddy choose to play instead of sleeping. Well that is possible for him because he spent his day playing and sleeping, while i was in the office working HARD.

I was dozing a bit when my boss came with a job to be done, the worst part was that he needed it like yesterday. I was surprised i could keep my upper eyelid from touching the lower one. The job was done, but i still have so much more to do.

Well the Lord who helped me with the first small job will see me through with the remaining small, small once which adds up to a BIG job.